Running jokes

My Athlete On Fire Interview

Listen in as I chat with Scott from the killer Athlete On Fire podcast!   

Be sure to follow along with his Becoming Ultra project to watch two athletes learn how to become ultra athletes!

 

 

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Talking Vegan Pig Farmers, The Leadville 100, and French Fry Vegetarians With No Meat Athlete

Today I had the insane pleasure of chatting with Matt Frazier (@NoMeatAthlete) and Doug Hay (@RockCreekRunner) from the wildly popular No Meat Athlete Podcast to talk about the film Once Is Enough and my experience so far going vegan and training for my first Ultramarathon...the Leadville 100.

Click HERE to listen!

Dont forget to subscribe to their podcast and follow them on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram for all the best advice for thriving on a plant based diet!

Journey To 100: Week 2

This week started off with me taking the plunge.  The short shorts plunge.  We're talking really REALLY short shorts.  Like, 1.5 inch inseam short.  They're the Craft Men's Run Race shorts and they are the most insanely comfortable shorts I've ever had on my body.  But it took a bit of nerve to step out in public to show off these devastatingly pale legs. 

The most interesting thing I've noticed is that the "for real runners" are now much more likely to greet me on the trail.  Have I discovered the mark of a "for real runner?"  Short shorts?  Is that how you know somebody means bid'nass? Is my sporting these border-line inappropriate and indecent short shorts the key to earning trail cred? It sure seems that way. 

This week ended on a less humorous note.  During my post-50 miler break I dealt with some major sciatica caused by two herniated discs which I've been battling since college.  While they're almost always in check and not much of a nuisance, this week they were anything but.  My runs went relatively well until my 17 mile long run on Sunday.  At mile 10 all hell broke loose.

Herniated or bulging discs are a strange thing.  They cause very little pain in your actual back. But because of the pressure they put on your sciatic nerve they can render one or both of your legs completely useless in a snap. This was the case on my week 2 long run.  After ten incredible miles I hobbled the six grueling miles back to my Jeep trying to stifle the tears welling up since I'm a grown ass man and all.

I'm under the care of an excellent medical team and under the supervision of one of the world's best ultra running coaches.  They've put together an excellent plan to return me back to health. Although today was rough, my back issues have been steadily improving over the past couple of weeks. Hopefully this terrible no good very bad back pain day will be my last.

Journey To 100: Week 1

It starts today.  I've completed my first 50 miler and have made the absolutely insane decision to train for my first 100 mile ultra marathon.  The Leadville 100 in Leadville, Colorado.  One of the world's oldest and toughest 100 mile ultra marathons...primarily because of the extreme altitude and lack of oxygen.  What makes me think this 240lb husky ginger can finish it?  I've no clue.  But apparently I'm crazy enough to give it a try.

Luckily, I'll be in good hands as we've brought Ian Sharman on board as my trainer to help prepare and guide me toward the finish line.  There's literally nobody on earth who is better equipped to train me for this challenge.  Not only has Ian won the Leadville 100 he also holds the US record for the fastest trail 100 miler..among numerous other wins. 

After taking a fairly inactive month off from running after completing my first 50 miler...the North Face Endurance Challenge 50 miler in San Fransisco, it was a slow start getting myself back in the groove of things.  But by my long run at the end of the week I remember why I love this crazy sport so f$%&ing much!

My first week's long run was a 15 mile jaunt.  I chose my favorite mountain training loop in the Santa Monica Mountains. A grueling 15 mile loop in Malibu Creek State Park.  It was raining.  A rare occurrence for southern California.  It was muddy.  I had to wade through flood waters. At times the fog was so dense I couldn't see more than ten feet ahead.  And I LOVED IT!  This is why I do this.  Adventure.  I'd rather eat a box of nails than run on a treadmill in a florescent lit packed gym.  But sliding through 15 miles of muddy trail with my head literally in the clouds?  Yes. Please god. Yes. 

6 Reasons I'm Scared Shitless of Running My First 50 Mile Ultra

In a few days I'm running my first 50 mile ultra marathon.  The North Face Endurance Challenge in San Francisco.  I've lost over 100lbs and trained religiously for the past six months but I'm still scared shitless...here are the reasons why...

1. I'm a husky ginger...  

Ok sure, I've lost over 100 lbs and spent the last six months training religiously.  But if we're being honest, and I hope that we are, I'm still packing a few extra lbs.  There's no getting around the fact that my attempt at running the North Face Endurance Challenge will be akin to asking the race's winner to run the race wearing a 75lb fat suit made of beef jerkey and Crisco.  This husky ginger simply was not born to run.

2. The longest training run I've completed is 34 miles...

The Internet tells me this isn't a concern.  Most 50 mile ultra training plans stop in the low 30's and rely on race day adrenaline and the power of prayer to get you to the finish of your first 50 mile ultra marathon.  

While the Internet tells me this isn't a concern, my burning ginger loins and mile 34 tears tell a different story.  My last 34 mile training run was terrible.  I was slow.  I was chaffed.  I was thrown to the ground twice by life altering muscle cramps.  And the thought of finding myself at mile 34 in the same condition and pushing my body another 16 miles is absolutely terrifying. 

3. Pooping

I'm going to be honest with y'all...I'm a persnickety pooper.  I refuse to poop on a toilet other than my own in all but the most dire of circumstances.  Should I find myself in a excremental emergency at your home and have no other choice but to use your toilet don't be alarmed when I ask for a bath towel. ALWAYS shower after I poop. No exceptions.

I've pooped in the woods.  Whatever.  I hated it.  But I did it.  I survived.  And it only required seventeen wet wipes.  

But what is a persnickety pooper to do when he's in a time crunch in the midst of a 50 mile race and doesn't have time to pop off the side of the trail to settle in for a relaxing seventeen-wet-wipe poop session?

Imodium A-D.  It's worked so far and I pray it doesn't fail me during this ultra.  Fourteen hours poo free on the trail will certainly be worth the four hours that evening I'll spend on the toilet.

4. I might not make the cutoff time...

14 hours.  That's how long I have to move this body down 50 miles of trail.  Aid station stops to refill water and food stores count in this time as well as any, oh god save me...poop breaks.

I need to keep an average pace of 16:55 mi/min for the entire race.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Well...my average time on my last terrible 34 mile training run was 16:35.  Terrifying.

5.  I'm too competitive...

I'm competitive.  I never lose.  Mostly because I don't play games I know I might not win.  So why would I throw myself into a game of running 50 miles in the North Face Endurance Challenge knowing full well I won't win?

Because I'm so slow that I'm not racing against the other runners...I'm racing against the cutoff time.

The key to making it to the end of an ultra is pacing yourself.  Taking it very easy in the beginning so you have energy left at the end.  I'm terrified the hundreds of runners passing me by will cause me to run faster than I should.  Simply running :30 seconds/mile faster than I should could have me out of commission by mile 35.

5. Running in the dark...

This ultra marathon will start in the dark and it will end in the dark. Alone...on a trail...miles from civilization...in the dark...running 50 miles.  Ugh...Terrifying.

Yes, I have a little headlamp strapped to my head that gives me a decent view of the trail.  But please tell me how to use that headlamp to protect myself from the critters, bats, and murderers who are sure you be lurking on these dark forest trails.  I've done one practice run in the dark and it was horrible.  I dealt with dive-bombing bats, stubbed toes, and I got lost...twice.  My expectations are low...very very low.

6. I might not finish...

I might not finish.  It's a very real possibility.  I'll certainly be disappointed but I think I've prepared myself well enough to prevent me from complete devastation.  I've planned for every conceivable thing that could go awry.  But sometimes the inconceivable happens.  There are a million things that could go wrong.  Sometimes your body fails you even though you've done everything you can to prepare it. 

They say the key to ultra running isn't in your legs but in your mind.  Your legs can take you much further than you'd ever think possible.  But your mind can stop you dead in your tracks.  If my my mind wavers I'll hope that my usual tricks work...thoughts of how hard I've worked, how far I've come, and how proud my mom would be if she could be here to see her husky little ginger lumberjack stumble across that finish line.

My legs are ready.  My mind is ready.  My Imodium A-D is ready.  Let's do this thing... 

 To learn more about the film Once Is Enough click here

 @JeffreyBinney